Atashi!
by AXB
Summary: Haruka's father Senri is in search of a secondary gym assistant to make his job as the Touka gym leader less stressful. But the young girl is absolutely horrified to discover just who this new assistant is.
1. Haruka Totemo Surprise!

**I just felt like writing a funny fanfic featuring the fabulous Harley. This starts off stupid, but I promise it'll get better! In this story, I'm using the characters' Japanese names.**

**Haruka: May**

**Masato: Max**

**Senri: Norman**

**Mitsuko: Caroline**

**Kinji: Kenny**

**And Harley's name is the same in both versions, in case anyone was wondering. Enjoy! **

A young girl with amber hair enjoyed a sunny afternoon, making a PB&J sandwich in the kitchen of her beautiful Touka City home. It was a gorgeous day, the air rich with the chirping of flying Pokemon. The girl heard the doorbell ring. Putting down the bread and jars of peanut butter and jelly, she went to answer it. Remembering that her father Senri had been looking for a new assistant, she thought it might be someone looking for an interview. As she opened the door, she was shocked and horrified at the sight of an androgynous young man with flowing, violet hair. He wore a lime green costume styled after the Pokemon, Noctus, with a navy blue undershirt that displayed his abdomen. He wore a pair of white go-go boots, and his cerulean eyes were highlighted by a pair of earrings.

"Konnichiwa, Haruka-chan! How are you, girlfriend?" he greeted, grasping her hands in a girlish fashion.

"Harley? What on earth are _you _doing here?" she asked in terror of the effeminate coordinator that stood before her.

"I heard that your fabulous father Senri was searching for a new assistant. As you know, I'm his biggest fan! So I decided that I should try my hand at the job!" Harley yelled in pure excitement.

"Yeah... great." Haruka said, pretending to be satisfied by this news.

"And it's the best of both worlds! I get to hang out with that gorgeous hunk... err... I mean... talented Pokemon trainer, and at the same time, I get to spend some quality time with you, my cute little gingerbread cookie! Isn't that just great?" Harley exclaimed.

"Oh, yeah, that's... great news..." Haruka spoke shyly.

There was a silence. Haruka knew in her heart that this was just another of Harley's cruel schemes to get revenge on her. Still, she and her friends were so easily tricked by Team Rocket countless times in the past, and the three rogues were barely even trying. It just goes to show that a group of kids capturing colorful animals in the forest aren't really all that smart. Harley recognized Haruka's distrust of him, and quickly put on an act as he had done so many times in the past.

"So you... you don't trust me? But... but... Haruka-chan..." he whimpered, tears running down his face.

"Harley, every time I trust you, you end up playing some kind of dirty trick on me! You really can't expect me to have faith in you after everything you've done to me. You're kinda difficult to trust." Haruka seethed at the young man... at least she was fairly sure Harley was male.

Tears streamed from his eyes as he clasped his hands together, as if in prayer.

"Kamo-chan, please! I promise you from the very bottom of my soul, I've changed! I've seen the error of my sinister ways! Please, darling Haruka, forgive me!" Harley cried to the young girl in sheer despair.

Haruka, for the millionth time, fell like a sack of potatoes for this show of waterworks. She just couldn't stand to see the effeminate coordinator cry, completely forgetting all the times he had brought tears to her eyes with his heartless trickery.

"Oh... Harley, it's OK! Really! I'm sorry, come on in." she beckoned him, leading him into the house.

"Ah! Thank you, Haruka-chan!" he spouted, grasping her hands and magically halting his tears. "Harley very happy!"

Harley strutted into the house, shaking his hips as he headed for the living room sofa. He took a seat, happily crossing one leg over the other in a feminine fashion.

"Stay there. I'll go get my dad." Haruka said, heading upstairs.

As she left, Harley snickered to himself, holding a small bottle of eye drops.

"Haruka never notices that I use this to simulate the act of crying. So easy to fool." he said to himself.

Senri, Haruka's strapping father, came downstairs with his wife Mitsuko and his gym assistant Kinji. Even though Kinji was already Senri's gym assistant, Senri's work as a Pokemon trainer was becoming increasingly difficult, and he came to the conclusion that he would need a pair of assistants to keep everything running smoothly. Naturally, Harley was infatuated with both Senri and Kinji, clasping his hands together and smiling as they approached.

"Ah, Senri-sama! What a pleasure to make your acquaintance!" Harley shouted happily, standing up to shake the man's hand. "Oh, and what's your name, big boy?" Harley asked Kinji, who cringed in fear of the effeminate youth.

"Uh... Kinji?" the boy answered.

"I'm sure it shall be great fun working alongside you..." Harley said, looking the young man over and taking great pleasure in his stylish sky blue jinbei.

"So, I take it you're here to apply for a job as my second assistant?" Senri asked.

Harley blushed at the sound of the trainer's voice. He was completely taken, because he could finally work as the assistant for the manly trainer he lusted for. Haruka was disturbed by Harley's unhealthy fetish for her father, but the tan man didn't seem to even notice Harley's... arousal. Mitsuko, on the other hand, was fully aware that this young man was checking her strapping husband out, and kept a clenched fist at her side just in case she had to kick his lime green butt.

"Yes, Senri! I've always been a big fan of yours. Your work as a trainer is simply fabulous and I thought being your assistant would help me grow as a Pokemon coordinator." Harley spoke.

"OK, then." Senri said, taking a seat on the sofa and gesturing for Harley to join him, causing the effeminate boy to blush visibly. "What are some of your strengths and weaknesses?" the man asked the blushing shemale.

"My strengths, Senri-sama? Let's see... well, I'm a great Pokemon coordinator, and I've won a lot of contests with my fabulous Noctus-chan. With my knowledge of Pokemon, I'd make an excellent gym assistant. I also have a penchant for baking cookies and cross-dressing." Harley proudly stated.

"Uh... what was that last part?" Senri asked, slightly disturbed.

"What? My knowledge of Pokemon?" Harley asked.

"No, after that." Senri spoke.

"My talent at baking?" the coordinator asked.

"After that." Senri repeated.

"Uh... I forgot." Harley said.

"Sure... right, then." Senri stated.

"And as for my weaknesses... I have none!" Harley stated happily.

"I suppose that's good..." Senri said.

"Harley-kun, how well do you think you could get along with Haruka, Masato and Kinji?" Mitsuko asked.

"Haruka-chan and I are the best of friends! Masato-kun needs male influence in his life other than Senri-sama, so I'm sure we'll get along OK. And Kinji..." Harley trailed off, throwing Kinji a sly, flirtatious smirk, "... Kinji and I shall get along just _fine_..."

Kinji gulped, running back upstairs in fear of the effeminate coordinator. Haruka sighed at Harley's antics as the interview went on.

"So you think you'd be a good help to Kinji with cooking and cleaning?" Senri asked.

"Of course! Cooking is my forte! Right, Haruka-chan?" Harley asked, throwing Haruka a mischievous look.

"Yeah, your cookies are kinda tasty." she responded, as she had when she and the young man first met and he offered her some of his cookies.

"Ah! Kinda? So you insist on insulting my cookies with your unsureness, Kamo-chan? Kinda... I hate your use of that word!" Harley barked at the girl.

"I... I mean... your cookies are delicious, Harley!" Haruka corrected herself to spare herself from Harley's wrath.

"Right! So Senri-sama, when do I start?" Harley asked, grasping the older male's hands and receiving a sharp, dark glare from Mitsuko.

"Well... you're actually the only person so far who's applied for the job, truthfully. I set up a bunch of fliers everywhere but you're the only one who ever showed up, so... I guess you can have the job right now if you feel like it." Senri said, kindly.

Harley snickered at this statement. His brilliant scheme of "taking care" of the other people who had been planning to try out for the job worked out spectacularly. Eliminating the competition worked in Pokemon contests, and it sure as heck worked here too.

"Really, Senri-sama? Very thanks! Harley very happy!" the young man shouted, pulling the tan older man into an embrace, all the while reveling in the fragrant and intoxicating scent of his cologne.

"You smell so good..." Harley said.

"Uh... what?" Senri asked.

"Senri-sama, I promise I'll surpass Kinji in every possible way! You shall not regret recruiting me as your secondary assistant! I shall get started at this very second!" Harley shouted.

"Great! If you perform alright, I'll even consider making you my right-hand man!" Senri said.

"What?" Kinji shouted in amazement, crashing down the stairs and rushing over to Senri's side. "But... but... Senri... I thought _I _was your right-hand man! You can't replace me with this... whatever it is!"

"Relax, Kinji, nobody's replacing you. I'm sure you'll both get along fine. Harley seems really friendly! You have nothing to worry about." Senri assured him.

"Yeah... a little _too_ friendly." Kinji sighed, looking at the effeminate coordinator who blew him a kiss.


	2. Breakfast Filler Whatchamacallit

Kinji cleaned the floors with a wet, soapy sponge. Harley had been hired by Senri the day before. It wasn't that Kinji didn't like Harley, it was just that the androgynous coordinator's flirtations didn't sit well with him. Moreover, he feared Harley would take his place as Senri's right-hand man... at least Kinji was fairly sure Harley was male. Come to think of it, is _anyone_ sure Harley is male? While deep in thought over how his career as Senri's gym assistant would turn out now that Harley was around, Kinji jumped with fright as he felt a soft hand gently stroke his... butt.

"Ah! What?" he shouted, looking up to see Harley, snickering.

Harley thought he'd get started on his job by taking hints from Kinji. He thought things would go more smoothly for him if he let Kinji set an example for him. In this case, that meant copying his signature outfit. Harley had scrapped his Noctus-inspired costume in exchange for a casual, lime green and yellow jinbei.

"Hello, Kinji! Need some help?" he spoke.

"Uh... no, not really. I'm almost done here." Kinji said.

"Alright then! Hey, Kinji, when you're done, wanna go see a movie or something with me?" Harley asked.

"I'm... not really all that into movies. Can't you just go with Haruka and Masato?" Kinji stated.

"Fine, then. You're no fun at all." Harley said.

Harley turned his back to Kinji, causing the boy great relief. Seriously, who _isn't _creeped out by Harley? Senri came down the stairs to greet Harley, causing the younger male to clasp his hands together in glee.

"Good morning, Senri-sama! How are you feeling?" Harley shouted, hugging the older man.

"Uh... fine, thanks, Harley. Listen, can you do me a favor?" Senri asked.

"Ah! Anything for you!" Harley exclaimed.

"Can you make breakfast?" Senri asked.

"Breakfast? The man of my wet dreams is asking me to make him breakfast? Of course, Senri-sama!" Harley shouted.

Yes... so... yeah, Harley cooked up a big breakfast for the entire house. Senri, Kinji and Masato seemed fascinated with his cooking. Everything looked so delicious, just like something straight out of a fast food commercial. Hey, unhealthiness is the best part of food these days. The eggs, bacon and sausages were all covered in grease and fat... kinda like Professor Odamaki. Mitsuko and Haruka, on the other hand, hesitated to eat the food before them. Haruka's reason for this was that Harley still hadn't fully earned her trust. Mitsuko's reason was that she wasn't just going to accept food from some psychopathic gay guy her husband found on the front porch. She knew where those sausages had been...

"Isn't my cooking just fab?" Harley asked, cupping his face with his hands.

"It's OK." Masato stated, taking huge bites.

"OK? OK!? ... OK..." Harley trailed off, whipping a small notepad labeled "Burn Book" out of his pocket and writing Masato's name in it alongside his picture of Haruka.

Yep. There's nothing scarier than a gay guy with a hit list, that's for sure. But it makes you wonder... is the fact that he still has Haruka's picture in his Burn Book indicative of something? Some kind of blatantly obvious foreshadowing of future events in this story? What a mystery...

After everyone ate their breakfast and went on about their business, Harley confronted Kinji with a sinister smirk across his face. The young slave... or... rather... assistant had no idea that he was a key player in a dark game Harley was playing. However, he would soon come to find out.

"Kinji... you're so good at cleaning and stuff..." Harley started, looking up and down Kinji's body.

"Uh... yeah, I guess. So?"

"Heh heh heh... all of that cleaning you do... you must have some very _strong _arms... I think that's kinda... sexy..." Harley said, licking his lips as his sinister smile grew wider.

"Uh... are you flirting with me?"

"You got that right, you cute little twink." Harley said, lunging for Kinji like a Habunake at its unfortunate prey.

The young boy tried to let out a shriek, but his protesting was in vain. Harley had Kinji right where he wanted him, and the boy sure as heck wasn't going anywhere.


End file.
